Page 13 - Family Programming - When a Parent Has Cancer

How can we best support our children? 1. Routines and Rules: • At the time of diagnosis and the months that follow, routines may alter drastically and it may be challenging to maintain consistent rules that run the house. • Children benefit, however, from as much consistency as possible, and knowing what to expect. • Do the best that you can do to maintain a sense of stability at home and activities. For example, you may not be able to take your child to hockey practice but they can still attend practice and know who will take them, do up their skates, etc. • Allow children to help as much as possible. It can feel good for kids to do things at home that make a difference. Activities should be limited and age appropriate. It is tempting to view a teen as another adult in the home when roles are shifting but be aware of the signs that they are being over- burdened with new or changing responsibilities. Even children who really want to do a lot may not realize that it is having an adverse affect on them. 2. Encourage communication and expression of feelings • It is a challenging time for children and they may have difficulty identifying and expressing their emotions. • You can help them by being a role model and talking about your feelings are how you are handling them. For example, “I am worried sometimes but then I try to focus on the fact that the last time I had a test, it showed that the cancer was smaller than before.” • Encourage open communication and avoid asking questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no” response. For example: What were you thinking about as you lay in bedand can’t sleep?” encourages more open communication than “Did you lay in bed last night and not sleep?” • Try not to switch too quickly into problem solving when your child is talking about a thought or a feeling with which they may be struggling. Instead, ask questions about it, explore it, and help them find the words to talk about it. 13 13