Page 10 - Family Programming - When a Parent Has Cancer

Family Member “Cheat Sheet”: Talking with Your Children We have included this Family Meeting “Cheat Sheet” to help summarize and simplify steps for you to follow as you share the diagnosis: 1. Prepare for the talk with your partner, or another trusted adult. Decide how and when you will talk to your children. Let yourself feel the feelings that come up as you talk so that you feel more relaxed when you talk to your children. It is OK to be emotional when talking to them but try to avoid them needing to comfort you or shield you from their feelings. 2. Don’t worry about following a script. Just be yourself. Roleplay first if you feel unsure about how to word it. 3. Choose a quiet place for your family to meet and at a time when you are not rushed or interrupted. 4. Remember to name the cancer, explain briefly what it is, tell them how it will impact them and encourage them to ask questions. 5. Watch for signs that your children have had enough. Long conversations may challenge your children’s attention span, and may be overwhelming in content. It may be better to have a series of shorter conversations that keep your children’s attention and do not cover everything at once. 6. Pace yourself, include lots of pauses, check in with them and offer lots of tender loving care. 7. Remember to tell them that you will keep them up- to- date no matter what – it goes a long way in establishing trust and assuring them that the communication will be ongoing and a two-way street. 10